Have you ever gotten to a point where you think you should feel great because of all you’ve accomplished and all of the hard work you’ve put in, but instead you feel empty and dissatisfied? Perhaps you finally accomplished your dream or a landmark goal only to feel suddenly empty, or to realize that it wasn’t even your dream or goal in the first place.
If so, you’re not alone.
Sometimes that happens because of the way we’ve defined success. Many ideas we have about success are often not our own; we are influenced by any number of external factors, and that phenomenon happens early and subconsciously.
Where did your current definition of success come from?
Do you compare your lifestyle to the characters on Downton Abbey, and feel that you come up short? Do you measure your self worth by your current number of Instagram followers? Do you ever experience being invalidated when someone you know moves up the corporate ladder as if they have wings, or they seem as if they’re actually able to “have it all,” while you struggle with just getting dinner on the table at night?
If that’s the case, then the answer isn’t necessarily to strive harder and burn yourself out more, but rather, the answer lies in redefining what success means to you.
I’ve personally been grappling with this issue myself quite a bit lately. A decade and a half ago I compared myself to people I admired, and I decided that I needed to dedicate all of my energy to working unceasingly in order to build a business. Now that I have finally slowed down a little to enjoy the fruits of my labor, I’m realizing that I missed something along the way: I built only a business but not a family. Recently I began observing the happiness that many of my friends and family have by being parents, and I started to feel like I’d missed out. Then it hit me: I was doing exactly the same thing I did all those years ago; I was comparing myself to others to see where I stacked up and what decisions I should make. The truth is I have designed a life I love – with or without children – but I don’t get to experience my love for that life as long as I am comparing myself to anyone else.
There’s a reason why the Teddy Roosevelt quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” has been such a popular quote for over a hundred years … it’s as true today as the day it was written.
Are you successful? Who gets to say? Better yet, what the heck is success, anyway? In this video are three tips to help you finally decide what it is that you want, so you can finally experience yourself as successful.
We only have right now, this very minute, this exquisite moment and nothing else. If you’re hinging your happiness on a life that hasn’t happened yet, or comparing yourself to other people, you will never, ever be happy, or experience your success, no matter how much of it you have.
Great video, loved the new graphics and pace 🙂
Thanks, Tora! So happy to hear that.
I also loved the injection of appropriate graphics in the video. More so, the content on defining success is right on. I so enjoy your content. I have your book, “Turn Setbacks Into Success” and really appreciated your insights. Along with Tony Robbins, the late Jim Rohn, and Wayne Dyer, you continue to feed me timeless wisdom upon which I feast like a starved man.
I am in my early fifties and am constantly evaluating what it is I truly, deeply want in life – what is my end game? What do I want to leave as a legacy (my impact on others and the world) and how can I get there while fully actualizing every moment? How do I define success for myself? (Having gone through a divorce after fifty years, and my children are scattered across the U.S., I am searching for my identity).
Holy moly, Cheryl – I’m very sorry for your loss in Bo. Your honesty about your authentic self (and authentic journey) is fresh air for many of us stuck in the stale prison of our own making based on society’s expectations. There is a time for professionalism, and a time for utter anger and despair. A time for control and a time for loss of control. And to scream, yell and punch a pillow is part of our authentic self; wabi sabi. I just watched your video for the first time. Wow!! Thank you and a thousand times thank you. Permission to be human – GRANTED!
Craig,
Thank you for your kind words. The topic of LEGACY is such an important one. isn’t it? Finding clarity around your identity, your definition of success and what impact you want to make upon the world is such an essential inquiry to dwell in. One you can continue to true up yourself to as you progress in life. I’m honored to provide resources to you along the journey, Craig. Happy trails 🙂
Hi Dear Friend Cheryl Hunter!
Success in the past means to have an “Apprenticeship” to Spiritual Growth. Now? I’m more selective; I’m more focused on spirituality; I’m Catholic; I select friends; positive mind; I study the most notorious people to err less; I read self-help; I am not a Buddhist but I love the Buddhist teachings of the Dalai Lama. Dalai Lama is a master of life; and gratitude; help another; practice kindness; Today, Of course: I watch the videos of Cheryl Hunter. Amazing Woman. I learn to live better and learn to listen English. I Love Cheryl Hunter. I am sorry for the loss of your dog Bo. Bye Cheryl. Beijo BRZ São Paulo State. Olavo Belintani
Hello Olavo!
Welcome. I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you for your condolences and your generous praise.
To me success means independence.
Absolutely LOVE it! Thank you, Jill!
Hi Cheryl
Success for me has come in small packages that have turned into the greatest gift. Every day brings new goals and opportunities to succeed. I’ve always followed my own path in life and listened to my guts. I feel that I succeeded in my life by finishing college, raising my kids to be responsible adults and I’ve faced several major surgeries and now an autoimmune disease that will never be cured. The success is that I’m still here to see each day. Hugs my friend.
Pamela, you’ve achieved success in the ways that truly matter most to you, and that absolutely is the biggest success there is in this life! Success on your own terms! Well-deserved congratulations to you, Dear!